If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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