So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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