Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
