the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
