i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
