would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
