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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
