i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
