I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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