someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
