So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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