guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
