Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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