I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
