the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
