we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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