I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize