So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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