This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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