What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
