We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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