I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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