Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
