I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
