I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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