I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
