i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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