so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
