I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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