there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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