Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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