420 ftw
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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