id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I still have a little drunk in my system
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize