bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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