I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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