So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
