I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
