I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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