Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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