Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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