you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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