im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
