I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
