It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
