my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
