I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yo dont text me then not text me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
