fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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