Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
