i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize