hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
