you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
