no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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