Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
