Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
