I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize