OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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