and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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