you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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