this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The ass gains better be worth it
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