One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
