So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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