What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
