i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
